How to Date Turkish People the Right Way

 

It is hard to find a better way to discover new horizons, meet new people, taste new flavors of romance and relationships than dating. It is a wonderful way to meet someone with different views, another perspective of the world. All in all, during traveling dating, is an amazing way to embellish the journey, fill it with emotions, deep feelings, and an unforgettable experience. Especially when we are talking about traveling to amazing and sunny Turkey. Therefore, a reasonable question arises: what is the Turkish dating like, and what is the proper way to communicate with Turks to make dating successful?

Turkish character is contradictory in a lot of ways. It is always a challenge to live on a crossroads of the cultures, so they take something from the East, and from the West, and from Asia, and from Europe. They are always very protective of their legacy and cultural treasures, from architecture to cuisine. Depending on the roots, the Turks can have completely different views, mentality, and background.

The country is divided according to political views. One half are supporters of the traditional way of life, religious and conservative The other half is the so-called Kemalists, supporters of the ideas of Ataturk, the father of the modern Democratic Republic. They stand for a secular state, emancipation, and integration into the world community.

If a Turk becomes your friend, it will be friendship without reservations. And romance in Turkey is even more valued. Family, there is a treasure, so such an attitude is seen in every part of Turkish life. all the people are bonded to each other, that is why Turkish dating has a very specific and yet magnificent taste. If you want to find the most respectful and successful way for a Turkish dating, you need to know a couple of things about the customs and traditions of the Turks and some specific features they share.

  • Turkey is divided into two social groups. The first one sees the family in a very traditional way, Turkish women is covering herself almost all the time, doesn’t have anything on her own, and depends on a man in daily life. The second one has a much more liberal approach in matters of family and marriage, standing on a position of gender equality. Therefore, in order to create a strong relationship and have amazing experience in Turkish dating, you need to understand what is the point of your potential partner. Turks are quite stubborn when it comes to defending things they believe in, so if you have different views on how everything should work, you will have to put in a lot of effort and patience in order to find some common middle path.
  • Romance for local men and women is very ritualized. It is always a combination of order and improvisation. They are very happy when everything goes according to the plan. Flowers, small gifts and presents, restaurants, meeting their family, friends, and relatives in the correct moment. No rush and very calculated moments for improvised and unusual activities. Turkish dating is very passionate, so this is the way for them to shape such passion and waves of feelings and guide all of those in a proper way.
  • Turks are quite impulsive, personal trust and sympathy have great importance for them. They are masters in giving promises and keeping them. You should always be careful with what you are saying because they consider any point of yours very seriously and they will never tolerate even an inch of a lie. So when you start dating, both online and offline, be open and show everything you have, and you will totally get such sincerity back.
  • Turks are terrible workaholics. A six-day working week is a daily routine for them. So if you are planning something for your date, time-management is a required skill. Try to come up with activities that will multiply your energy and provide both of you with a chance to get to know each other better.
  • The eating and drinking habits of Turks highly depend on the way they are nurtured. If the family is religious and strongly sticks to the traditional values, there will be more restrictions for you too. So you need to know how much your date relies on religious and cultural rules. Try to show respect to it, even if such a lifestyle does not suit you personally.

Turkish dating maybe some sort of challenge, but the prize is significant — in the end you will get a reliable, passionate, loving, caring, and understanding partner, who will provide you with breathtaking romance and compassionate support twenty-four hours a day.

Cultural Considerations for Relationships

In today’s diverse world, seeing interracial couples and children of mixed heritage is hardly anything new. From celebrities to politicians in the news, many public figures have shown the world that colour is no longer an issue. Closer to home, you’ve likely had friends, family members, neighbours or colleagues who have partners of a different race.

While a potential mate’s race may be of little concern to you when dating, differences often go beyond skin-deep. Cultural norms are an important consideration when entering into a relationship, but with a little advance preparation you can foster a respectful bond with someone of a different ethnicity.

Focus on Your Relationship

Of utmost importance when contemplating an intercultural relationship is remembering that true love conquers all, and cultural differences can generally be resolved. Put culture aside and remember what it is about the other person that attracts you to them.  Commit yourself to your relationship and your special bond.

Set a Strong Foundation

Being committed to making your relationship work means respecting their values and beliefs at all times. Set a foundation of appreciation for your partner’s culture by learning as much as you can about their background and beliefs.

If that special someone is Catholic and you are Jewish, find out more about their religion and how it is practiced. Be open to their customs and embrace the beauty of their traditions.

Know Yourself and Your Limits

Go into the process with the awareness that there will be differences to resolve. Making an intercultural relationship work starts with you. Carefully evaluate aspects of your own culture such as your religion, family values, language, education and professional goals, and preferred gender roles. Try to determine which ones you feel are flexible and which ones you are positively unable to compromise on.

Don’t Shy Away from Differences

Especially in the early days, you may be tempted to avoid your cultural differences. While it is important to focus on your similarities and shared preferences and goals, differences can present opportunities for learning and growth as a couple. Instead of ignoring or avoiding differing points of view or conflicting values, approach them realistically in order to bridge cultural gaps.

Recognize Cultural Issues and Communicate

Try to recognize disagreements related to cultural issues as they arise. Say your girlfriend believes in having a large family while you were set on having just one child- this could be a cultural difference! Make sure you feel comfortable discussing these differences with your partner by establishing early on that you’ll be able to chat calmly and respectfully. Make a pact not to escalate your discussions into arguments.

Prepare for Culturally-Sensitive Situations

When bringing your partner to meet your family or friends, brief him or her on what they can expect to see, hear and taste. Your more conservative boyfriend, for example, may be unused to seeing women in high heels or short skirts, so prepare him beforehand for a new experience.  If your girlfriend is unfamiliar with spicy Mexican food, let her know in advance which dishes to be careful with.

For any gathering, clue your partner in on any cultural missteps to avoid.

Know When to Retreat

Addressing cultural issues early on can allow you to work through your differences and form a lasting relationship. However, paying attention to cultural differences can also help you determine if your relationship is viable in the long term. As much as you may care for a certain someone, if you’re thinking about marriage, commitment or children you’ll want to carefully evaluate if your cultural differences are too great to overcome.

Sonia Bieber enjoys a successful intercultural marriage and is the mother of two amazing Mexican-American children.

My Family Throws in Remarks about my Boyfriend’s Race

Same parents…not only parents my whole family…….vs…..my love….

I love him..a lot..its 4years of our relationship….he came to my house to talk 2 my parents but they didn’t agree……they are saying its not possible..but..before few years..my mom was saying its OK with me..even my auntie said they would support us…every one back stepped…now we are alone…he and his mom want me to tell every thing to my parents….how can i do this…they don’t wanna hear his name either….both of them know..i like him but they aren’t even asking me what i want….when he was at my place..at that time..also they didn’t asked what i wanted……what can i do…now…

– Sweet Girl

Arman says:
April 22, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Dear Sweet Girl,
It is a dilemma. I suspect you come from a traditional family and that your family disagrees with this relationship based on some tradition and not the quality of this person. Maybe differences in religion, race or social status? It can be devastating. You need to think about this very carefully and ask yourself many questions. Modern values would tell you to free yourself from the chains of tradition and follow your heart. Are you a modern girl? Can you risk abandoning your family? How firm are your family’s convictions? Is this man worth all that?
Traditional values are based on beliefs and mores that are passed down from generation to generation. They are often rich with wisdom, but we must always examine their foundations. On the other hand, they provide a solid support to build your own relationships on. Can you do without them?
At the end of the day, love is a strong emotion that can leave as fast as it came. At the same time, it is a strong force that can make the impossible possible. My advice is to sit back and evaluate your situation from both the rational and emotional points of view because they are both necessary for happiness.
Good luck!

Sarah says:
May 12, 2010 at 12:39 am
Arman, I really like your comment. I am somewhat in the same situation. I am a tradional Armenian gal with a modern twist. I value my culture, traditions and family very much. Although I was born here, I am spiritually connected to my Armenian hertiage. However, I am in a serious relationship with a Non-Armenian(Spanish). He is a very educated, well mannered man that also comes from a classy family with lots of culture, values and morals. I told my mother of my relationship with him and he seemed to be okay with it at first, but now she seems to throw in rude remarks about his race here and there, and also wants me to come home early and so on…I am 26, but still live at home, so I have to respect most things they say. I am just lost and don’t know what to do. It’s a sad and tough situation. My mother said ” if you wanna be with him..go, I’m not stopping you..but you have to answer to everyone in the family”. I think that is so wrong! Oh…and my brother has been dating an Asian girl for four years, they don’t like it, but they except her into our family.

Arman says:
May 12, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Sarah,

Thanks for sharing your story. I was in a similar situation as your boyfriend a few years ago. My GF who lived on her own came from a small town where there were maybe three people from other countries. The first time she took me to her home town to visit her family, they all looked at me as if I was from Mars (she also had four brothers, the smalled being 6’1?, and around 25 cousins!!) It was a bit uncomfortable but funny at the same time. During later visits, they would unintentionally make bigoted comments and my GF told me they had a hard time understanding what she was doing with me. After a few years though, they totally warmed up to me and loved me as one of their own. The comments of course continued but once you get past the words and see people’s hearts, it is just funny.

I am not too worried about your situation. I think you and your BF will have some challenges, but if he’s a truly good man, you will work it out slowly. Of course, since you’re living at home, it is much harder than my case, but hey, who said life was a picnic?

Good luck!

My Boyfriend and I Have Religious Conflict

Hi! i just wanna share our simple yet very complicated love story of me and my boyfriend..Actually, we’re just new in our relationship..and my main problem is..my parents doesn’t know that I’m already committed to this guy whom I’m always seeing…But I know that they already have an idea..They’re just waiting for me to share and to formally introduce my man..And we have this conflict on our religion..I’m a Christian and he’s a catholic..that’s the another problem here..But i really love him..So, I made up my mind to fight for our LOVE..My parents love me and I love them too..But loving my boyfriend is the another side of it..It’s LOVE and I can’t compare it to anybody else..I’m willing to give my ALL..so my parents will accept us and eventually let us be together FOREVER…I’m really looking forward to be with him FOREVER…To be my husband and the father of my kids..Please Lord help and guide US…=)

– Bodict Pril

Min Min says:
February 18, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Why do you so worry about what hasn’t yet happened? What do you actually worry about? Why are you not confident about your boyfriend?

If you don’t tell your parents, you will never know their response. You are worrying about something that will never happen.

Your worry doesn’t help if things will eventually happen. Whatever happens, we have to either face it or give it up right now.

So just face it. Don’t “inform” your parents that you are already committed. Tell them that you are dating this guy and ask for their advice to make them feel that they are respected and then they shall respect you too. Tell them how good your boyfriend is.

As for the conflict of religions, do you think that it’s critical? If it’s critical, one of you needs to be less religious, I suppose.

Im not gonna talk about religions. Religions are supposed to make life better, but why are they conflicted?

The destiny is in your own hands.

Asa W says:
February 25, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Thanks for this blog. I like what I read. I wish more blogs were like this. Thank you.

Mimi says:
July 27, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Sweetie, incase you read this, I’d like to inform you that Catholics too are Christians. Nothing to worry about. I’m a Catholic, and I can assure you that we all worship the same Holy Trinity.

khaye says:
September 2, 2011 at 10:15 am
I just read this one, but truly i do agree with you that you must fight for it: because at the end of the day, the most important part of in a relationship is not only on what you believe in but it is on what you feel for each other which is “LOVE”.
and honestly, i can relate to your story… it’s been a year ago and i hope you’re now happy in whatever you’re decision was…
i just wanna know what had happen next?!
and i hope i can get even just a piece of advice on this issue/matter… thanks!