10 Offensive Questions Women Hate

Well, we know, implying that women should understand what you mean. But every now and again you throw us a chauvinistic curve ball and we might pitch it back where you’re not wearing a cup. Maybe you think the things you say are not offensive at all, just common sense. In truth, your questions are common, but doesn’t make sense. So in an effort to spare everyone some unnecessary pain, here are 10 things we women never want to hear again—and why. Age is just a number, like the size of your penis. And as I said earlier, we’re either into it or we’re not, and we don’t ask questions.

1. “So you like to rock the cradle?”I tend to prefer older dates; I presume they have more stability in their lives than I do. But sometimes women like to rock the cradle—within legal limits. Why is it OK that you guys date girls who were nine years old when you were packing up for college, but weird for us to date anyone merely months younger? Age is just a number, like the size of your penis. And as I said earlier, we’re either into it or we’re not, and we don’t ask questions.

2. “You’re too pretty to be a ___. Why don’t you do ___?”I’ve hear “writer” and “TV,” respectively. While I’m flattered, being physically attractive and being in a particular profession are often mutually exclusive. I gave myself over to free labor interning for the past four years and lost a wealth of sleep hours that I’ll never get back to graduate with top honors in writing. I worked hard to get where I am, so next time just say, “Wow, you’re pretty and a writer. Jackpot.” I’m only half kidding.

3. “You actually meet guys on Tinder?”Seldom is this question asked of a man. Questioning why women actually go on Tinder dates, or Happn dates, or Hinge dates or Ok Cupid dates—you know, the sole purpose of dating apps—has deeply-rooted implications. (Read: slut-shaming.) But you can spend all your money on a rando you never intend to meet again, and that’s rational. And that rando was a woman on a Tinder date… with you. Isn’t it weird how that works out?

4. “Why are you so dressed up?”A simple, “You look nice,” would really suffice. If you choose to wear your paint-stained scrunch sweatpants and college T-shirt printed with a personified Red Solo cup, that’s your own prerogative. Yes, that was a vast generalization. But the point is, you do you and let me do me.

5. “How are you still single?”We know what you’re trying to say, and we know that where you’re coming from isn’t remotely offensive; in fact, it’s sweet. And maybe I’m single because things like this bother me more than most, or I just have awful game or because I squirm too much at the sight of guys pulling tendons from Alaskan King Crab legs. Or maybe I’m single because I chose to be single. Being single doesn’t mean I have some intrinsic defect you’ve yet to unearth. Why are you single? Maybe because you keep asking that question.

6. “You’re not one of those girls, are you?”What exactly is “one of those girls?” Here’s the thing: If you call us crazy, we become crazy. If you call us bitchy, we’ll likely get bitchy. In other words, you create “those girls.”

7. “Why would you go alone? Aren’t you scared you’re going to get raped or something?”You just made me cringe. And you won’t redeem yourself by saying, “Well, a girl like you…” Explicit example: I backpack solo. I do it often. A girl like me is very much capable because a girl like me did it. She did it often. That girl was me. If we let the fear of rape consume us, we wouldn’t go grocery shopping after dusk either. Plus, there’s something just a little off about casually mentioning rape?

8. “What’s your cup size?”This is typically followed by, “Are they real?” or a desperate justification like, “Well, you’re wearing your boobs out.” Sometimes you guys almost give yourselves a backhanded compliment along the lines of, “Classy women reserve them for men who deserve to see.” Here are my thoughts: Rarely does a woman ask a man about the circumference or length of his penis. We’re either into it or we’re not, it’s rude to ask and you’re going to lie anyway because now we’ve made you insecure. We don’t “wear” our boobs out; they are biologically stuck to our chests regardless of the tops we wear. And, while we live in a culture that makes sexuality a commodity, our bodies aren’t prizes to be won by those deemed worthy.

9. “Why are you wearing ___? I like natural girls.”Fill in the blank with anything. Don’t ask me about my skincare products, my makeup, my false eyelashes, my hair extensions. I started using them long before I met you, because I like them. Just think, at one point in your life, a teen-aged Danielle Fishel or Tiffani Thiessen poster garnished your wall. Guess what? They used products too. And hate to break it to you, but Beyoncé never woke up like that. Her hair is fake, too. So here’s a revelation for you: You just think you like natural girls.

10. “We’re both adults. Don’t you know how to let loose, have some fun?”This question remains unsurpassed if your intent is for her to leave. If, however, your intent is to incite some sort of revelation within us, do better. Perhaps my idea of having some fun is not necessarily having some of you at the moment. Suggesting that’s somehow it’s not adult like of me is suggesting that I’m childish. You’re condescending and, trust me, no epiphany resulting in some action for you will come of that.

 

What Does This Gift Say About His Feelings For Me?

 

Here is a recent question from a reader:

I’ve been dating a man for a couple of months. He’s very nice and we enjoy each other’s company. Things seemed to be going well. He always seems to have money and enjoys spending it, paying for our dates, etc. He buys clothes for himself often and likes to show off his purchases. In fact, he’s a bit vain with his appearance. For my birthday he gave me a silver necklace that I know probably didn’t cost $20.00. I’m not greedy, nor a gold digger but it seems odd compared to the spending he does on himself. Am I expecting too much to think that his gift should have been at least a little nicer? I had hinted months ago about a concert I wanted to see but he made an excuse that he didn’t get tickets in time and there were no good seats left. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I admit I was disappointed.”

 

This certainly seems like a contradiction in his character so what does it mean regarding his feelings for her? Should she have received something a little nicer?

Everything a man does while you are getting to know him gives you invaluable information about who he is, what’s important to him, and what you can expect more of in the future.

Some general thoughts about gifts:

  • When a man is trying to woo a woman, feels romantically toward her or is in love he will typically give her romantic ‘heart type’ gifts.
  • Flowers, candy, jewelry, romantic cards or love letters, dinners are all “heart” gifts.
  • Practical gifts like appliances, books, pen sets are not from the heart, but from the head and can be a sign of passionless intentions or that a relationship is fizzling out.
  • An exception is if the practical gift is something you really wanted/needed and he mixes it with other romantic gifts…then well, enjoy the toaster oven, he is still hot for you.
  • Another exception is that while some men are not gift givers, nor romantic they may still be very devoted, loyal husbands. I have a friend who married an engineer; he takes practicality and logic to a new level. He’s never bought her flowers and if she’s lucky enough to get a gift, it’s non-romantic. Think gift card. But he is a good father, kind, steadfast and honorable. Her car is always filled with gas; she never lifts anything heavy, he kills all the bugs in the house and generously occupies the kids so she can cook dinner undeterred. She doesn’t dwell on what she’s missing. If she wants something, she goes and buys it herself.

But that is her.

There is nothing wrong with wanting your birthday and holidays celebrated in romantic ways. If to you that means dinners, flowers, gifts, and cards, so be it. Just like there is nothing wrong with a man who wants a buxom, blond bombshell.

Trouble begins when a woman picks a non-romantic man, marries him then cries every year at her birthday when he lets her down or the man who marries a flat chested brunette and nags her to bleach her hair and get a boob job.

Your job is to simply pay attention and decide if THIS man as he is will make you happy.

Okay, so what’s Cheap Necklace Man’s story? Based on the above generalizations, that he gave a piece of jewelry is a good sign, but the fact that it was obviously very inexpensive compared to what he normally spends is something to consider.

This is a sensitive issue. I want to stress that while it appears that money the issue, it really is not. It’s attitudes toward money, generousness and intentions that are important things to know about a man before you marry him. The only reason money becomes a part of this equation is because of the obvious disparity in his usual spending habits.

Without knowing more about the man and relationship, I advised her to ask these questions:

  • Is it possible his feelings have changed? Has the relationship cooled? Is his gift mediocre because it matches his feelings toward you? Pay attention to how he behaves in other areas of the relationship.
  • While he has money and enjoys spending it, it’s possible he only really enjoys spending it on himself. Hey, it’s his money and he can do with it what he pleases, but if you are considering him as marriage material you can probably expect more of the same. Will you be happy if he splurges on himself but is stingy when it comes to your birthday, Christmas or Valentine’s Day?
  • Will he be the type of man who monitors what you spend and only wants you to make purchases on things he deems worthwhile?
  • Does he use his money to control? I once dated a man who was wealthy and paid for everything but who liked to joke that he “paid the cost to be boss”. In other words, it’s never what YOU want, it’s always what HE wants.
  • You mentioned he is vain and buys a lot of clothes and enjoys showing them off to you. These can be signs of insecurity. If he is he may be so busy focusing on himself and his insecure feelings he may not be tuned in enough to you to make your special day a priority. This may have something to do with the fact that his poor planning prevented him from getting you what he knew you really wanted.
  • Is he wonderful in every other way? If he remains a lousy gift giver but has many other important qualities you want in a man, it may be okay with you to smile sweetly and proclaim “I love it!” then secretly sneak off to exchange or return his presents.

You are the only one who can evaluate what is happening in the relationship and how happy all of his qualities and quirks will make you. There is nothing shallow or greedy about your concern. It really is not about the amount of money he spent but about what his obvious lack of effort has meant to you.

Good Luck

Online Dating Etiquette 101: Privacy vs. Honesty?

 

It’s a bit scary, isn’t it, advertising on the internet that you are single and seeking love?

Some people won’t post a photo on their dating profile because they fear being discovered by family, friends, coworkers, clients, or students.

How much information do you need to put out there in your profile?

How much should you divulge over emails or IMs with a potential match?

How much do you talk about on a first date?

In Your Profile

  • Basics on you – age, height, body type, marital status, job type, hobbies, personality
  • Basics on your match – what kind of person is she on the INSIDE?
  • DON’T – use a username that you use elsewhere.

In your profile, you want to entice someone to write you (or write you back!).  This is not the place to tell your life story or write your laundry list of favorite bands.  Keep it short, sweet, and simple.  Leave her begging to know more.

For your privacy, choose a new username.  You would not believe the amount of information I can gather on someone after ten minutes on Google.   Unless you want your potential geek girl reading your post on the abrasive nature of chainmail that you wrote on a LARPing forum when you were 16, I’d suggest a new username.

Over Emails and IMs

  • Elaborate, elaborate, elaborate.
  • Keep your personal details personal.

Emails and IMs are the place where I was able to weed out the people I wasn’t really interested in meeting.  Maybe he had a decent profile and some good pictures, but if the spark didn’t continue in the emails and IMs that followed, that’s where I would cut it off.

This is a great time to ask questions about the things she wrote about in her profile and talk to her about the finer details of your mp3 collection.   However, it is NOT the time to reveal your last name, your employer, or any other details that would make you an easy target for a stalker.

“But e,” you’re thinking, “Stalker?  You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I wish I was!  It won’t happen in but 2% of the people you’ll find on the internet, but they are out there and you will thank me when you can cut the relationship off by 1) blocking them from match.com and 2) blocking them from IMs.  When a crazy girl is showing up at the receptionist desk at work, it’s a little harder to sweep under the rug.

On a First Date

Here is where your discretion comes into play.  She’s made it out of the emails and into the first date territory, so she must be acceptable.  Use your gut – if she seems trustworthy, open up.   If you have doubts, steer the conversation in other directions and discuss events, not people.Match.com

Privacy vs. Honesty?

We all remember that honesty is important.  What do you do when someone asks for information that you’re not ready to divulge?  Be honest.  “I’d rather wait until we talked a bit longer before sharing that.  Tell me more about that awesome movie you saw…“  It can be tough to say, but as long as you’re not holding back on your last name after a month of dating, then she should understand and respect you enough to wait.

Good questions to ask when you start dating

 

Couple on coffee date

Having a fulfilling social and dating life has been a bit challenging lately, hasn’t it? If you are anything like me you might be feeling slightly out of practice when it comes to interacting with new people. This is where being part of the online community gives you a great advantage. When face-to-face dates might not be possible or difficult to arrange, your screen means you can still meet new faces and chat, whether it’s via messaging, emails, phone calls, or video dates. Or maybe you’re able to meet in person, over a coffee or on a walk, and want to know how to develop your connection. Here are a few suggestions for early conversations with someone new.

Show you’ve read their profile and appreciated it

Being able to refer pleasantly to something they’ve written about themselves is attractive. It shows you find the person interesting enough to have made more than the minimal effort. For example, “You mentioned living in a city – do you like city life? What do you enjoy about it?” Don’t overdo it and turn it into a job interview though! Think about gently building a rapport, rather than an interrogation.

Ask a question to open a window onto someone’s world

“How’s your day been?” or “What have you been up to?” are easy and relaxed ways of opening up to talk about the elements that make up our day-to-day lives, which can then lead on to more thoughtful conversations. For every question you ask, think how you yourself would answer so that you have something to give back in conversation terms. If appropriate, remember to reflect back, “And how about you?” when answering one of their questions.

Classic questions for the ‘unprecedented times’ we live in

The world is going through the sort of times which prompt some tailor-made questions – things we wouldn’t have imagined a year ago. It might be helpful to ask about looking back: “Can you remember, what was the last film or live music or public event you went to?” or looking forward: “Is there anywhere you’d really like to travel when it’s possible again?” You could dig a little deeper into the emotional impact of the pandemic: “What have you missed most?” or “What will make life feel back to normal again for you?” These questions are great for generating a feel-good atmosphere caused by reminiscing about fun times in the past, and projecting forward to more enjoyable times to come, as well as allowing you to learn about what matters to each other.

What about ‘Icebreaker’ questions?

Dating advice can include the suggestion of using ‘icebreaker’ questions. You know the sort of thing: “If you could have dinner with anyone, past or present, who would you choose?” Personally, if I had been asked this on a first date I would have racked my brains to come up with the ‘right’ answer and my mind would have gone blank! The answers could also act as a distraction. If, in the early days of getting to know my husband (a scientist-cum-would-be-rock-guitarist), I had asked him whom he would like to have dinner with, he might have answered, “Isaac Newton” or “Steve Vai”. I would have thought, “Boring,” to the first, and “Who?” to the second. It was irrelevant. And yet, here we are, seven years later, happily married.

Go with whatever you’re comfortable with – these questions do stretch you mentally and that might be a good fit – but the early stages of getting to know someone are more about learning to feel at ease together, so might be better left till later.

‘Let there be spaces in your togetherness’

Don’t feel it’s up to you to fill every lull. Listen as much as you talk. Have a breather. Give the other person space to initiate their own conversation. In situations like these I’m also aware I’ve got a tendency to speak too fast through nerves, so I’ve learned to mentally remind myself to Slow. My. Words. Down. It comes across as being calm (even if I’m not), and often has a visibly relaxing effect on the other person, making the conversation more natural and enjoyable.

And finally, before you start conversations with other people, it’s good to have a conversation with yourself: “Be your warm, friendly, likeable self. Relax, and enjoy it.”

Why Christians Should Try Online Dating

 

Online dating websites are ubiquitous these days; instead of searching for partners at traditional places, people sign up on dating websites and start hunting their perfect dating partner. Online dating websites are very accessible and convenient for users around the globe to interact with like-minded people. If you are searching for a Christian male or female with the same interest, you can signup on the most popular dating sites for Christians. Signing up on online dating websites allows you to have an opportunity to meet individuals across cities who reflect their matched interests virtually and availability. The prime aim of online dating websites is to assist their users with dedication and commitment to match them with their ideal soulmates and dating partners.

Why Online Dating?

Not everyone gets lucky in finding their perfect match, but if you are bold and confident enough, you can quickly introduce yourself to people and plan to meet in person with them. If you are looking for casual hookups and dating, you must ensure you follow all online dating protocols. The prime reason why websites are promoting the culture of online dating is to develop interaction and confidence between Christian males and females so they can understand each other before they meet in person. Online dating is not a walk in the garden; it requires sincerity, determination, and boldness to help you find the best partner. Online dating is a general learning curve for every person, and if you have a partner from a western or far eastern country, you will get to know his or her distinct cultures and traditions.


If you are shy and have public fear, online dating is the best tool to improve yourself. People hesitate and cannot express themselves wholly in front of others, so it is recommended to interact online without being judged by your prospect. No one would be judging you on your mistakes, so it is okay to have an experimental approach while searching for the ideal partner for you. Being shy is okay, but it should not stop you from online flirting and talking. Always try to make an attractive and eye-catching profile, and start by accepting and sending requests living across towns or cities. Once you have verified your profile on a dating website, it is your court; you can smash with the word go or take it slowly. It is recommended to avoid the adrenaline rush and start by responding steadily to avoid any future clashes.

Many Christian dating websites provide user-friendly interphase, where you can quickly post your daily prayers and religious thoughts. Users tend to regularly publish articles and reply in responses regarding an ongoing conversation. So, dating websites produce an overall good outcome where you are free to comment and make new casual friends. Hundreds of users on that website stalk your every post and comment, so always think before posting.

Why Maintain a Good Online Profile?

It is true, connections judge you by your profile and picture, so always upload an attractive and appealing display picture. If you are planning to make a profile with a fake name and bio, then don’t! As people tend to get impressions about bogus profiles and block you instantly, so refrain from having bogus accounts. Always express who you are, and the perfect match would bounce at your landing screen; though it is not that easy, you need some luck to go through with it. Usually, people search for people with the same interests and habits, so it is easy to mingle and interact with them. You can always stalk someone’s profile and then start communicating with him or her. You and your profile are being evaluated from the first conversation and post, so always be sharp and react accordingly.
Like every digitalized communication, online dating has its worth. People living far across towns and cities can date without any hesitations. A little fling can lead to extended skype calls and facetime. As online dating is a digitalized platform and you need to maintain a good online presence as the one stalking you have not met in person yet. According to relevant sources, more than 16,000,000 people are active on a single dating site on average. Your profile is public, and everyone scrolling through would notice your profile’s features, so establish and maintain your online presence. Never discuss your online dating profile in public, as this might dent your professional reputation, keep your online dating credentials discreet from others.

How to Create an Attractive Dating Profile?

Online dating websites are diversified platforms, where people from different faces and colors login and try to interact. To seem attractive to everyone stalking your profile, you need to have a clear proper picture; a selfie might do the trick as it is a perfect close-up picture. Add attractive captions with your bio, which might help you in starting a conversation. Once you start feeling comfortable, upload more images from your gallery on your profile and keep it updated. Always remember to add a peculiar detail about you, which might attract any of your connections or a random stalker. Almost every Christian is residing by the next street, start thinking different and give your profile a unique look. Just don’t focus on photos; at times, people begin by noticing the content describing you. Use concise and to the point paragraphs to represent you and your lifestyle. Avoid cliché arguments and quotes, which might end up being noticed by your followers.

It is your profile; always remember the first impression is the last, and once your profile seems attractive to your future partner, they might initiate the talk by themselves. Online dating sites show the real potential of people getting into serious relationships and conversations. It is crucial to highlight your vision and approach to how you would go during conversations and what you are looking for in your partner. Keep your vision broad and accept invitations from unexpected people, and stay positive.

Does Online Dating Websites Have Secured and Encrypted Platforms?

In this highly saturated and classified internet space, every website has its security standard procedures. Users only register themselves at realistic websites and end to end encryption, where online users’ data is not being monitored or sold to any third-party organization. Online dating platforms are secure; they held up all internet protocols complying with users’ safety and privacy. Internationally recognized dating websites run internal security checks on profiles; if they observe a threat, the member is red-flagged, and the account is removed. To avoid any uncertain risks, you must always verify your profile and use dating websites that are reliable and have mass usage. If any website or agent asks you to pay dollars via online transactions in exchange for protecting your identity, refrain from accessing those websites and contacts. Many online dating websites enable you to monitor visitors viewing your profile; you can maintain a vigilant check and balance and then block suspicious or fake profiles. Many online dating websites have 24/7 chat support representatives, assisting you in situations and answering your query.

How to Stay Secure on Online Dating Websites?

You never know who is actually behind the profile uploaded on the webpage. Do in-depth research about specific dating sites before signing up. Do not fall for ads and fake dating websites, which might dent your data and privacy. Do not throw your contact number to every person you talk to. Take your time, get settled, establish a level of trust and then exchange personal information. Confirm with your partner before scheduling an in-person date, ask them to give a visual on video call before the meeting. Hence, it is easy to identify in public and eliminate all doubts of uncertainty. Do not exploit your social networking usernames; keep all interactions limited to a dating website and its specific chatroom. After a doubtful or fragile meet up with your partner, walk yourself home or prefer public transport, to avoid being tailed. If you meet for the first time with the person you interacted with on an online dating website, keep things simple, don’t try anything fancy, and try to schedule your date in a public space or a public park. 

While chatting with your partner on the website, do not leak any confidential or classified information, talk general, and then self-evaluate yourself. Run multiple checks of the person you are talking to, do not fall for fake profiles, ask for valid identity before involving yourself much. Do not fall for tricks, lose your money; refrain from getting involved in suspicious networks and groups. Usually, people signup using their nicknames, making it difficult for others to check them on other social media platforms. After going through with your partner, set your long term goals and then plan accordingly. You must always remember that your privacy and security are in your own hands, take baby steps towards online dating, and start flourishing yourself. At, times you might feel that odds are not in your favor, but stay consistent; you might find your true soulmate soon.

Connecting With Women Through Conversation

Some women respond better to the direct approach. And some cam handle overtly sexual behavior and are even open to flirting.

But there are a lot of women who are uncomfortable with this, and prefer the indirect approach, and are attracted to men who can connect with them mentally first.  Before they connect emotionally and physically.

This type of girl, many pick up artists  and dating coaches ignore. In fact, pick up artists often tell men to be sexual with women straight away and to show their intention in the first few moments. This of course can work well on some women- BUT NOT ALL!

If I had one piece of advice to pass on to men it would be to improve and refine conversation skills. For the sheer reason, that it is the backbone of every type of relationship. But, is severely underestimated in the pick-up community.

As human beings we communicate in many ways, verbally, physically and visually. these are the most basic and obvious methods. To have a conversation with another person is a fundamental skill, we learn this from our primary education. To talk about various subjects with the people around us is a necessity of life in order to live. But, we must also converse for other reasons than to just fulfill a need or a whim. It is also necessary to converse to persuade, to befriend, to debate, and to educate, that brings about an ability toward understanding each other. Conversation is of vital importance when it comes to representing ourselves and our needs to others, particularly, strangers. Conversation is perhaps the most necessary tool in building relationships with others.

Despite this, many students I first meet are unaware and sometimes, skeptical about the importance of conversational skills or (as I like to call it), ‘The Art of Conversation’. When asked how they would rate their own skills, most people are quite sure of themselves, judging by their conversations with close friends and acquaintances within their own social circle. However, one of the main sticking points most students possess is ‘running out of things to say’. This is simply because having a conversation with a stranger is a very different scenario to that of speaking with someone you know, who is willing and prepared to speak to you. It is not enough to simply have a good opener. That won’t win a girl, nor will a great closing line – those skills (which can be bottled and rehearsed), will not alone get you that girl you long to have win.

The ‘dreaded’ mid-game that students avoid learning, and many PUAs avoid teaching, that requires quick thinking with unpredictable answers. It has to entertain, but must not be a circus act. It requires a balance of questions and discussion (it is not an interrogation). One cannot rely on routines during mid-game conversations, although they can be implemented. To master conversation during the mid-game, requires the skill of working with whatever response you receive from the girl, trying to get as much information from her as possible, to make her interested in you. The minimum you should achieve is that by the end of the conversation, before you close, you are no longer strangers. Here I will give you the techniques that I pass on to my students, to give you the grounding and the ability to master the Art of Conversation with most types of girls you will encounter.

My first piece of advice would be. DO NOT ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS. This is because the conversation can easily turn into an interrogation. Imagine if a complete stranger approached you and started asking question after question. Then imagine after these questions, that person asked for your number, or tried to close you. After answering questions about yourself, you don’t know anything about the person you are actually talking to so you’re unlikely to give your number to someone who is still fundamentally a stranger. It is easy to fall back on questions because they are safe and usually guarantee a response from a girl. So as you ask question after question, you may think, “Yes I’ve kept this conversation going for a while, how great! I must be doing well, she must be into me!” If she hasn’t made her excuses to leave at this point, then she’s probably just very polite. The other problem with asking too many questions, and also asking the most obvious questions (a point I shall come back to) she will simply fall back on auto pilot mode. This is even worse than being interrogated, as she isn’t even thinking about her opinions. She is literally just quoting herself. To be more specific I will include this real example of myself.

Guy: …So what do you do?
Me: I’m a student.
Guy: Oh yeah? What do you study?
Me: Japanese
Guy: Oh wow! So how did you get into that?
Me: I’ve been interested in Asia since I was eight years old and….(etc etc) The biggest problems with this conversation are:

1. Too many questions.

2. I am clearly on autopilot

If I had a penny for every time I was asked the question “How did you become interested in Japanese?” I would be a very wealthy woman now. Not only am I asked this by acquaintances and guys trying to pick me up and get to know me but also on every single university application and CV. Although it is understandable that one may like to show interest, try to ask a specific question to make a girl think, something that she may not have asked herself before, or if she has; not very often.

Example:

Guy: I bet you study fine art; you dress a bit like a Parisian artist. (1) Girl :What? How? No…I study Japanese.

Guy: That’s interesting, I was completely wrong. Tell me three things that interest you most about Japan. (2)

Girl:….oh…three things….let me think uh…the first would be… (3)

1) The use of an assumption is detailed, therefore it can be as wild as one sees fit, it also doesn’t matter if you have assumed wrong, the more detail – the more wrong you are allowed to be. If you are vague, the assumption is thoughtless and impersonal and seems like a line you use on all girls.

2)  Admitting you were wrong, and moving straight on to the hook “Japanese” that was given to you. Asking for “Three things” is giving the girl a task that she must complete. She needs to acquiesce to your demands – this puts you in a higher position and also requires the girl to think about the answers.

3)  In the girl’s response, there is clear evidence that she is not on ‘autopilot’ mode. She may look up to the side while she racks her brain to think of impressive answers. You have stood out from the crowd.

Suddenly the autopilot mode has broken and I have to think. When a girl suddenly has to think of an answer that she did not have on the tip of her tongue, you may notice her eyes look up to the side as she racks her brain. This, you could say, is the indicator that the autopilot mode is broken. You have suddenly stood out as a person who made her think and question a large aspect of her life.

Also when using the “tell me three things…” remember that she is fulfilling a task; she is doing something for you. In the previous example, when the guy was asking all the questions, he was doing all the work – now the shoe is on the other foot.

It is important to look behind a girl’s responses rather than taking them on face value. For example;

Example:

Guy: Give me three reasons why cats are better than dogs.
Girl: uh…They’re much cleaner, they’re independent, and they’re very soothing

Looking at these answers, one could either continue on by discussing the other benefits of owning cats, or perhaps the benefits of owning dogs or snakes instead. Or one could look at how these reasons are a product of her personality. She says she likes how independent cats are; does she therefore perhaps dislike responsibility? Does she not like children either? Or keeps a busy lifestyle? Or perhaps she’s stressed easily and needs a calming influence from the ‘soothing’ nature of a cat.

Offering these assumptions (again assumptions are stronger than questions) you are making an attempt to read into who she is inside. It may seem false at first, but girls appreciate being read. You are making an honest attempt to understand her as a person.

Example:

Girl: I work in a bank.

Guy: Is that something you always wanted to do? Or did you parents pressure you into it?

This is a very strong example, it may be a sensitive subject, however, if you are bold enough to bring this up then you are more likely to receive a deep and interesting response. High risk? High reward.

Connecting with WomenYou must also offer personal or emotional details of your personality as well; otherwise she will be as much a stranger to you as when you first met, it will also encourage her to speak openly about herself to you. Remember you are much more likely to close successfully having been able to connect with her beneath the surface.

Of course, this is a very small snapshot of the conversation skills one can learn. This is not the full answer by any means but my intentions in explaining these few tips are to emphasize how easily mistakes are made and bad habits are formed and also to explain some of the reasons why talking to a girl who is a complete stranger can be so difficult and how one can rectify this situation. The Art of Conversation is a very broad topic which is difficult to break down alone but with training becomes an invaluable lesson. In the Pick Up community, you will find many trainers who give you lists of routines. I can speak from experience that routines, although fun and useful, are not the backbone of a conversation, neither do they give you much opportunity to get to know the girl or entice her to want to know you. Also in routines, one unexpected reaction can throw you off course (I have seen top Pick Up Artists fail when I gave them an unexpected reaction!). With conversation skills, you can be prepared for any response and entice a girl to deliver information and share a moment with you when two people cease to be strangers any more.

By John’s Special Guest: Kezia Noble
Kezia Noble, world’s leading dating expert for men, published author of best selling book “Noble Art Of Seducing Women” is a regular newspaper and magazine columnist as well as frequently appearing as a guest expert on TV shows across the globe.

9 Reasons Why Online Dating Is Still Worth Considering

I strongly believe that online dating should be considered as a secondary route when it comes to meeting women. It should only be viewed as an investment in easy lays rather than something more substantial. Also if you’re using this sort of medium to meet some lovely ladies, never use it more than an hour every other day.

Online dating is pretty straight forward, you should create your internet profile and hit on the hottest girls on there and wait to see if anything bites, if many of them bite, use a spreadsheet like that guy from New York that got his spreadsheet viral after a date with a girl.

If you’re completely against internet dating, here are 10 reasons why it’s worth considering.

1. Easy way to find your type

Technology has made some serious advancements and they can be seen in internet dating. Dating sites provide customers with very comprehensive search features that offer results that are very compatible to your personality. This means instead of chatting up 10 girls you might not like, you can do a quick search and land 10 results that match.

Such algorithms are the reasons why so many people that meet online end up having a long term relationship.

2. Can hit on large amounts of women in a very short amount of time

If you find yourself without much time on your hands but love to hit on a bunch of women, online dating provides you with this opportunity. You can hit on girls from work or anywhere else and use your free time to hit on girls in real life.

Now I’m not saying to spend your whole working day hitting on girls online but with moderation you can hit on at least 10 girls within 20 minutes.

3. Nobody knows how bad you suck

Unlike the typical bar scenario where you approach a girl, she gives you the finger and all your friends start laughing, you friends will only hear about what you tell them. Plus if you see somebody on there that you might know, unless they expose themselves, nothing will come out.

This makes rejection incredibly easy, also if you hit on a bunch of women simultaneously you won’t even have time to feel bad about getting rejected because you’re already hitting on more women. That’s the beauty of the internet folks.

4. Turning down girls is easy

In real life, when some girls come up to you in a bar (and you don’t like them at all), you usually have to make up some crappy excuse to get out of it. If your internet dating profile is being attacked by unattractive ladies, you simply ignore all of them and you’ll never hear anything back. If you want to be a nice guy, just turn them down, at least they can’t throw their drinks in your face.

5. Small chances of getting a beat-down by an angry boyfriend

When you’re approaching girls in real there’s always a chance that her bouncer boyfriend was busy guarding the door and he wants to express his masculinity and his love for her by giving you a good old fashioned smashing.

When doing this online you can immediately see their relationship status. Unless their interested in fooling around in which case their bouncer boyfriends haven’t got the slightest clue about where you are and who you are. Quite frankly if she’s on there to cheat on her boyfriend, it shouldn’t even be your problem.

6. You can be exactly who you feel you are

If you find it hard to find dates in real life because you’re either socially awkward or have some sort of other issues, this can be a fantastic way to pretend you’re somebody else. Always use a picture of yourself but as far as your achievement, personality traits etc, all can be improved upon.

You might find it hard to act when you’re actually on a real date with this person but provided you had the chance to get to know her to a certain extent the whole social interaction shouldn’t be too stressful.

7. Real life dates end well

If you can convince a random woman on the internet that she should go out with you, your job is pretty much done. Provided that in most of these online situations, people spend some time chatting and getting to know each other, by the time you hit the date she’ll feel like she already knows you and would be pretty much ready to have sex with you.

Since online dating profiles are out in the open, she knows exactly what you’re looking for and you know exactly what she’s looking for. People skip the unnecessary games and get straight in to the action. That’s why internet dating is very good if you’re lazy and can’t be bothered to go out that often because it provides you with an opportunity to get your dick wet without too much effort.

8. Great way to find holiday lays

If you’re planning to visit that mate of yours in Chicago for 2 weeks, it might be a great idea to start a fling with a bunch of girls down there.  By the time you get there the ladies will feel like they already know you and it’s going to go down pretty easy.

If you’re tight with money and loose with your morals you could even use this to hook up free accommodations. Granted this is much harder to do but it’s worth a shot right?

9. Pick anything you want

Apart from helping ugly western guys marry hot young Asian women, online dating can also help you meet women that you would normally not have the chance, or ability to meet in your everyday life.

The internet is a great way to break social and cultural boundaries and can help you land some of the most exotic types of women. It can also get you chicks the chicks that you wouldn’t want your friend to know about…

There you have it, as bad as online dating may seem there are at least 9 reasons that make it worth considering. However, moderation is the key to success, never spend more than 1 hour every other day on dating site and also remember that the best way to meet and date women is in real life, online dating should ALWAYS be your secondary option.

Finding love during lockdown – defining a new relationship

 

When it comes to connecting with someone on a dating site, you’re probably aware of the usual advice to meet in person as soon as possible. Well, coronavirus has certainly thrown a spanner in the works with that! While restrictions are being relaxed in some places, you may not be able to meet in person easily, safely or even legally for some time. Some fortunate souls might be able to meet for a socially-distanced walk or picnic – assuming you don’t need public transport to get there, and until one of you needs the bathroom! But hand-holding, hugs and kisses are probably off the agenda for now. So where does that leave you in a developing relationship?

You can get to know someone quite well through video calls and in-depth conversation – but if that’s all you have until who-knows-when, can you progress to an actual relationship?

There are many happily married couples introduced through Christian Connection who have faced similar challenges – but due to distance rather than COVID-19. So it’s certainly possible to build the foundations of a good relationship before meeting in person – and communication is key.

Let’s say you’ve been chatting to someone for a few weeks or months, and you feel you have real potential as a couple. You’ve shared long discussions, you have a rapport and shared values, you respect their relationship with God – and through video calls (or maybe a date or two before lockdown), you’re confident that there’s chemistry. You’re excited and you sense they feel the same…

Should you just continue chatting as friends, getting to know each other until you can meet in person and decide whether to give romance a go? Do you agree that you’ll pursue a relationship, and become exclusive now as you grow your connection? Or do you keep your options open and continue talking to other people until restrictions lift?

Well, any of these is valid… as long as you’re both singing from the same hymn sheet, and no one is being misled. So, nerve-wracking as it may be, if you feel this person might be right for you, it’s important to have an honest and direct discussion to define the relationship.

You could open up the conversation by saying, “I really like you and think we have great potential as a couple. How do you feel about that?” If they feel the same, discuss what that means, and how things might pan out when lockdown is lifted or relaxed. For instance, the kind of dates you’d like to go on when you can meet in person, what’s important to you in a long-term relationship, and, if you’re long-distance, how you’ll manage that.

In the absence of face-to-face contact, continue to look for ways to deepen your understanding of each other, as shallow chat will soon fizzle out and you’ll lose momentum. Ask lots of questions, and pray together. Ensure you’re both happy with the frequency of contact. Check in with each other periodically to see if you’re both still feeling the same about the relationship.

It’s also important to discuss boundaries, so you each know where you stand. Will you both continue talking to other people from the website, or pursue exclusive contact with each other? If you’re both excited about a relationship, do you want to commit yourselves to that now, albeit in a limited way? Clarity is crucial.

However, it’s wise to hold all these things fairly loosely for now, and not get carried away. You may become very attached to each other during social isolation, but once normal life resumes, one or both of you may find a real-life relationship isn’t panning out as you’d hoped. Investing too much now could lead to disappointment later.

Having said that, many successful partnerships start out as long-distance romances, and this is actually a great time to get to know someone in a deeper way. Christian Connection is expecting some wonderful relationships to blossom during lockdown – and yours could be one of them.

How to Avoid Being Fooled When Dating Online

 

Dating online can be fun and exciting, not only for you but for online scammers as well. For the past decade, we have witnessed an influx of romance scams. Online dating sites are the playground for identity thieves, hackers, and several other nasty peoples. According to the FBI, there are some typical signs to identify such scams and protect yourself from getting duped.

FBI claims there has been a substantial increase in older victims becoming the target of online scammers. They often get duped of identity thefts, money laundering, and in worst cases, they are turned into unwitting  “money mules.”

Most online daters worry a lot about their first date with potential matches. However, your main worries should be more about the scammer who refuses to meet you, even after repeated attempts.

These online fraudsters are exceptionally talented when it comes to conning you for love and money. Thankfully, all of them follow a typical pattern. With just a cautious mind, you can identify these red flags and save yourself from getting duped.

Online Security Tips to keep scammers at bay:

Stalk them on social media:

Yes, you read it right. We are urging you to stalk the person you meet online and seems like a good match. Most scammers either don’t have a social media presence, or they have a pretty basic profile. Social media can help you find some obvious red flags.

Some tips for identifying such profiles are:

  1. They either have no or more than one social media profile.
  2. They have a very low friend count.
  3. Most of their photos online are model-like shots, and no activity related photos.
  4. The profiles lack pictures of their friends or family members.
  5. There are no tags on the pictures for any of their friends.

To keep your dignity intact, make sure you don’t become too creepy. Though snooping on someone’s social media accounts sounds outright sinister, it can save you from scams. This minor offensive step can actually be your best defense.

Make Google your best Friend:

Searching on Google has become a verb altogether. Googling is a common phenomenon these days, and people prefer searching for everything on Google. Just a simple knowledge of this search engine can help you from getting duped.

  1. Google image search: With Google reverse image search, you can search anyone’s image from the person’s profile. If the results of your search show up images mentioning it belongs to people with different names and residing in separate locations, you may have good reason to suspect them.
  2. Search for similar profile bio: It is typical behavior of a scammer to have the same profile bio in all their accounts. There can be many grammatical errors. Usually, scammers are from countries where English is not their main language. So, major grammatical errors always ring some warning bells.

Look for Red Flags:

As mentioned, there are some obvious red flags, which many people miss. Always keep an open eye and attitude to pick these subtle signs.

  1. Beware if an individual seems too good to be true. Do check them online.
  2. Beware if the individual persuades you to leave dating service and communicate directly through chatting apps of personal numbers.
  3. Beware if the individual always evades meeting in person. Even if they agree, they will make excuses to cancel them over and over again.
  4. Beware if the individual tries to isolate you from your loved ones and persuades you that everybody is against you, and he/she is the only person you should trust.
  5. Beware if they confess their love for you too quickly, even before you meet them in person.

Keep a balanced mindset and protect your private information:

Online scammers are nothing but con artists. They are masters of deception. They know the exact ways to manipulate you and bring them into their narrative of life in general.

It’s easy for anyone to get fooled into thinking that you may have an intimate relationship with your online match. When you are constantly texting and talking to a person throughout the day, it’s obvious to feel a natural attraction to the other person.

However, while all this conversation is happening, you need to have a closer look. Ask yourself below questions:

Are you in constant touch with this person?

Why are they not ready to come face-to-face?

Are you prepared to get so much emotionally involved with a person who is not ready to come out of this phantomized image?

Don’t fool yourself thinking into you have an intimate relationship because you are connected online. Dating platforms like Dating Blush have some great advice in this regard. You must always approach online dates practically. Always refrain from getting emotionally invested in a person before you met them for real. Romance scammers know how to convince and manipulate you.

Don’t get money involved:

Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone, this is just basic. Isn’t it? If your online prospect gives you a sob story or a convincing story that they need some financial help on an urgent basis, don’t fall into that trap.

Even if you want to help, do it the right way. If they claim they are U.S. citizens stuck in foreign locations and need funds, refer them to their local U.S. Embassy. If you still want to send money, do it via the U.S. Department of State Office of Overseas Citizens Services (OCS) Trust.  Always refrain yourself from transferring funds from your personal bank account.

Once you send money, you will be a cash cow for life. It’s always ok to say, “No.” If their love or affection is genuine for you, then they will stick around- with money or no money.

Final thoughts

Meeting your online date is a crucial milestone. We recommend if you are staying in the city, it must happen within the first week. If they are in a separate city or country, at least have a virtual face-to-face interaction. There is no dearth of video chatting apps these days, which is making them avoid it.

Moreover, listen to your gut. Your instincts never deceive you. If you feel something is not right, leave it then and there. You can take the help of a friend or someone from a family who can give you a third-person perspective on your situation and an online relationship. That’s the best you could do when you have any doubt.

The Easiest Way To DEFINITELY Get a Girl’s Number

 

You’re out with your friends and an absolutely stunning girl appears. As your mind scrambles for something great to say, your body freezes up. She walks by and out of your life, gone forever, while you’re left to wonder what could’ve been.

I know that feeling, brother.

Getting numbers is the biggest sticking point for guys who want to get good with women. They say your first million is always the hardest to make and the same is true here. When you’ve got something to work with, it’s easy to keep progressing – but if you can’t even get numbers, how can you ever get laid/find a girlfriend/work on your social skills? (underline as appropriate)

To help you out, I’ll share the easiest way to definitely get a girl’s number.

Here’s What You Have To Understand

Before I go on, you’ve got to understand and accept the following.

The general population believes that women don’t want us as much as we want them. The idea is, you have to woo a girl before she gives up her digits (or a kiss, or sex).

This is actually our fault. Traditional, male-dominated cultures have repressed female sexuality for hundreds of years, both in their minds and ours.

Why?

Because in human societies, monogamy is superior to polygamy. Over time, ancient polygamous societies had to adapt or get wiped out by monogamous ones.

To enforce monogamy – the superior survival strategy – cultures and religions evolved to encourage female “purity”. A woman who’s pure – i.e. not sexual – is less likely to leave her man or cheat while he’s away at war, hunting, etc.

So humans developed this idea of the “pure” female; the good girl who saves herself for her husband, dresses plainly and doesn’t care much for sex. This ensured monogamy and the continued survival of our race. And even today, society judges women who express their sexuality in behavior and dress.

But George… What Does Any Of This Have To Do With Getting Numbers?!

So alright; society encourages the idea of the “pure” female. The one who needs to get wooed because she doesn’t want men as much as they want her.

Problem is, every time you’re letting a beautiful girl walk by without doing anything, it’s because you actually bought into this idea; that she doesn’t want and need you as much as you want and need her.

BULLSHIT.

If you’re a man, it’d never occur to you put on your best clothes, go to the club and dance in the same spot for six hours straight. BUT WOMEN DO THIS ALL THE TIME because they’re programmed to want our attention!

They want us and want to be wanted by us. They love having us in their lives, they love being in a good man’s presence and they even love… shock, horror… SEX.

If that’s not enough good news for one day, realize that women want us so much they compete for us. This is especially true if a girl is nearing her thirties: her dating pool is shrinking every year, slowly but surely turning you into an EXTREMELY VALUABLE COMMODITY.

So unless the cutie that just walked by is already seeing someone, she’s got every reason to give you her number. The only thing you have to do is ask!

The Easiest Way To Definitely Get A Girl’s Number

  1. Walk up.
  2. Make and hold eye contact.
  3. Tell her she looks great.
  4. Ask for her number.
  5. Don’t flinch.
  6. Walk away and call her later. (NO TEXTING).

Two important points to make here. When I say ask for her number, I don’t mean “um, excuse me ma’am, would you mind leaving me your number… P-p-please?”.

When you request the digits, do it like a man who expects to get them. Pull out your phone and be confident, e.g. “How about you leave me your number?” or “Leave me your number, I’ll call you later.”

Also, if she doesn’t react immediately, DO NOT BREAK OR FLINCH. Don’t start apologizing or mumbling; you’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about. Simply stand there, phone in hand, until she gives you the number or says no.

Over the years, I’ve used this approach hundreds of times. I can only remember a handful of outcomes in which a single, straight woman rejected me. Think about how incredible that success rate is!

Why does this method work so damn well?

  • Like I said above, women really want to meet good men. There’s no reason for a normal, single girl to not leave a mysterious stranger her number.
  • Even a guy with horrendous social skills can’t screw up too badly in the 30 seconds it takes to do this.
  • Women hate murky men who hide their intentions and hit on them covertly. Giving a direct compliment gives you a huge advantage in her eyes.
  • Girls enjoy following strong men. By expecting to get the number and holding tension, you display your dominant presence and spark attraction.

That’s why this is the first and only “line” I give to most clients who want to get good with women. It’s pretty much foolproof. Use it the next time a girl you like walks by and maybe you’ll spend the evening with someone pretty for a change!